Mama has a New Suit

Part of my "vacation in Indy" week has been a personal concession to buy myself a couple of things for spring. I am not a good shopper for two reasons - my Puritanical-guiltmongering upbringing ("you really don't need that, do you?") and unrealistic expectations (champagne tastes, beer budget).

But, lucky for me, on Tuesday I found (on sale!) shorts and capris. On Wednesday, I mindlessly perused  the Land's End catalog and realized I'd been procrastinating on a  swimsuit purchase. For like, five years. It was time - no matter how painful. 

The suit I'd been "making do" with wasn't terrible. But God help me, I will not be one of those middle-aged moms desperately trying to look 15. Gravity and children will change your life, no matter what you tell yourself. So I bit the bullet. A catalog purchase seemed safe. I could always return it once I dried my eyes from the laughter, right?

The package came today and {insert Hallelujah Chorus here} it fits! It is well made! No one will laugh! Best of all, with the suit came a bonus - cleavage. That's right, it was right there, in front of me all along. Who KNEW?! 

After this, I am giddy about the future. What could be next? A perfect husband and children? My son, potty trained? Winning the lottery?